How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (2022)

Taylor Strecker, the host of SiriusXM’s “Wake Up With Taylor,” doesn’t usually mince words. In fact, it’s kind of her job to be bold, brash, and just a bit of an over-sharer.

But when she unexpectedly fell in love with herbest friend—a woman who, incidentally, is named Taylor—following her divorce from her husband of almost five years, she found herself suddenly tongue-tied.

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“I think my audience could tell that I wasn't sharing my life with them for a while, which is what I'm supposed to do, and they were definitely salty over that,” Strecker tellsWomensHealthMag.com. “But I have always identified asstraight, my whole life. I've never been attracted to girls, period. End of story.”

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How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (1)

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Except it’s just the beginning of the story—one that made Strecker question everything she thought she knew about herself, and eventually led her to very publiclycome outabout hernew relationshipon the air in what she says was “the absolute scariest moment” of her life.

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It Wasn't Love at First Sight
The two women first met two years ago when Taylor Donohue was working as a videographer for a mutual friend. “I remember thinking, ‘Ugh, she's six feet tall and blond and beautiful, so clearly thinks she’s hot shit and all the guys here are going tokissher ass all day.’" says Stecker. "So I was super annoyed, which is ridiculous and embarrassing, but it's the truth. And then when I found out her name is also Taylor, I felt even more annoyed.”

How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (2)

But, Strecker says, she was also looking for a new videographer to help out withher blog. “As I was watching her shoot, I was like, ‘Shit, she’s actually really good,’” she says, laughing. “Once we started working together, we actually clicked right away as friends, and started spending a lot of time together.”

(Video) I'm Madly In Love With My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

"When I found out her name is also Taylor, I felt even more annoyed."

Strecker was still married to her ex-husband at that time, and she says that for a while she had no idea that Donohue was a lesbian—until she tried to set her up with a man and things got a little awkward.“I felt like an asshole.” Strecker says.

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How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (3)

“I remember telling her it's so crazy that we live in a culture where I can meet all the new friends I want and never have to identify mysexuality, but you have to have that conversation with literally every new person who enters your life if you don’t want them to make the wrong assumptions,” Strecker says. “What a responsibility that is.”

Becoming More Than Friends
At that time, Strecker says her marriage was “a year into being completely crumbling.” They'd tried couples therapy, and were good at putting on a happy front when they were with other people, but were “hanging on by a thread.” By February, the pair had separated and begundivorceproceedings. Strecker started staying with Donohue and her sister, crashing on their couch regularly.

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“They were really like my family throughout thedivorce,” she says. “They became the people I spent the most time with. They kept me sane. They helped me find my new apartment and fill out all the paperwork. We really became best friends.”

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The two women started hitting the town together; Strecker flirted with men while Donohue focused on women. “But then one night that spring, while we were out at a bar we always went to, this girl came over and kissed her while I was sitting right next to her, and I felt insanelyjealous," says Strecker. "I’d seen her kiss other girls before, so I was like, ‘What is going on? Why am I jealous? I just like her as a friend, so what's my problem?’”

"This girl came over and kissed her while I was sitting right next to her, and I felt insanely jealous."

“I didn't say anything to anyone about it for a while because I was really freaked out by it,” Strecker says. “I thought maybe I was just confused from the divorce, or maybe I was justlonely. But I also felt like maybe I just wanted to experiment and be free, and I realized I did actually kind of want to kiss her. Just to see what that would feel like. So I finally worked up the courage to say something to her.”

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Strecker confessed to Donohue that she might be developing a crush on her. But Donohue wasn’t having it.

How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (4)

“She said, ‘OK, hold up, you’re straight, you were married to a man, you're still in the middle of a divorce, and I think you're really confused right now,’” Strecker says. Donohue also told her that although she’d always thought she was cute and that she was “obsessed with her” as a friend, she thought the two of them dating would be very, very bad idea. Historically, she always lost interest in the women she dated quickly, and she feared that pursuing anythingromanticwould ruin their friendship.

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“She basically told me to put the kibosh on my feelings for her,” Strecker says. “I feltrejected, but I was like, ‘She's probably right. This is probably a terrible idea. Maybe I'm just crazy right now.’" But after that conversation, things started to change. "We’d be friends during the day, but when we went out at night, we’d be super flirty with each other, and then the next day we’d just pretend it never happened and act like just-best-friends again. It was towing the line for sure.”

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Then, during a trip to Miami, everything changed. “We were just like, ‘f*ck it,’ and we kissed,” Strecker says. “There’s a joke that lesbians bring a U-haul to thesecond date. It was kind of like that for us. Once we’d kissed, we both knew it meant that we were going to do this—we were going to try to have a real relationship.”

Going Public
Though the pair moved “very slowly” and kept things a secret at the beginning, Strecker says she was very excited about the whole thing "It’s kind of crazy that I spent 32 years thinkingsexwas terrible,” she says. “When I finally had sex with Taylor it was like, 'Oh, this is what everyone’s talking about!'” But Strecker says she also felt “really freaked out” by what this meant for her identity.

How We Went from Best Friends to Girlfriends (5)

Plus, she wasn’t even allowed to publicly discuss her divorce until all the paperwork had been signed by judge, so the prospect of people finding out that she was in a new relationship—with another woman, no less—before she’d even revealed that she wassingle, was terrifying.

Once the divorce was finalized, Strecker says things became much more comfortable. They started telling friends about the relationship and didn’t feel like they had to hide. A year later, once Strecker felt she knew things were “really real” between her and Donohue, she finally told her audience the truth—thoughshe still prefers not to use labels for her sexuality.

(Video) i went in for the kiss...

“It took me a while, and it was definitely the scariest moment of my life, hands down” she says, “but when I finally did it, it was such an incredible relief to finally say it.”

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For the most part, Strcker says she's experienced atremendous outpouring of love. “With all of the states passing anti-gay laws right now and theOrlando shooting, it feels like there's this growing culture of hatred and non-acceptance toward LGBT people in this country, which has been so upsetting to see after we passed this huge civil rights landmark by finally allowing gay marriage,” she says. “So to have so many people respond positively to my story, even on such a small scale, has really helped restore my faith in humans, and helped me believe that lots of people actually are good and don't judge, and really do believe that love is love.”

FAQs

Can a best friend become a girlfriend? ›

The scientists also found that only 18 percent of people reported that their friends-first partner intentionally became friends because they were romantically attracted or interested. It was much more common for people to become friends naturally and then become attracted or interested after getting to know each other.

How do I change my best friend to my girlfriend? ›

Just tell her that you've really liked being her friend, but that you want to take your relationship to the next level. Make her see that you've really thought about it, and that, though you value your friendship, you're willing to take the risk to take your relationship to the next level.

How do I go from best friend to relationship? ›

10 Tips When Going From Friends To Dating
  1. Make sure both of you want the same things. ...
  2. Know the risks. ...
  3. Don't rush things. ...
  4. Stay friends even when you're lovers. ...
  5. Don't get too comfortable in the relationship. ...
  6. Go on real, romantic dates. ...
  7. Be honest but don't tell them everything you would tell a friend.
21 Apr 2022

What happens when best friends become lovers? ›

Sexual attraction is a sign you're falling for a friend

When friends become lovers, they begin to desire each other sexually too. If you start fantasizing about a friend or find yourself turned on in their vicinity, it's a clear indicator that your relationship no longer fits the friendship or bestie meaning.

Do best friends make good lovers? ›

Having a strong friendship bond with your partner is the secret to having a long-lasting romantic relationship, scientists claim. Researchers found that lovers who are also close friends enjoy better sex, more love and greater commitment.

How do you tell if a friendship is turning into a relationship? ›

Your friend is being more vulnerable than usual around you. The closeness that you two have has become deeper. If you both share deep secrets or things you're scared or hesitant to verbalize to others, the line between friendship and love is getting blurry.

What is more than friends but not dating? ›

"A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship," explains psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert. "Unlike a friends with benefits or relationship, there isn't consensus on what it is." Why is this becoming a trend now?

How long are people friends before dating? ›

On average, the “friends first” initiators were friends for nearly 22 months before the relationship turned romantic and almost half of the total sample thought that friends-first initiation was the best way to start a new romantic relationship, versus the other options presented such as meeting at a party or online, ...

Can besties fall in love? ›

While it is not necessary that all friendship leads to a romantic relationship, but it is most likely that one ends up falling for their best-friend. And why not? You spend so much time with each other, make so many great memories together and are open about every little aspect of your life.

How do I get out of the friend zone? ›

How to Not Get Friend-zoned In The First Place
  1. Make your intention known. Don't tiptoe over your romantic feelings—if you're having them, then it's a sign you should take action rather than wait. ...
  2. Learn their standards beforehand. ...
  3. Have options. ...
  4. Don't always be available. ...
  5. Tell them you're not friends.

Is it possible to go from friends to dating? ›

“It's not always be a straight path moving from friendship to a romantic relationship – there might be some back-and-forth," says DiDonato. "Shared friends might be really interested in this thing that's happening between the both of you, but a romantic relationship is between two people.”

What are the stages of dating? ›

The 4 Stages of Dating Relationships
  • Stage 1: Initial Meeting/Attraction.
  • Stage 2: Curiosity, Interest, and Infatuation.
  • Stage 3: “Enlightenment” and Becoming a Couple.
  • Stage 4: Commitment or Engagement.

How do you move from talking to dating? ›

HOW TO GET OUT OF THE "TALKING" PHASE
  1. STAY CHILL HUNNY BUNNY. No, for real. ...
  2. BE A BUSY, MOTIVATED PERSON. Chase your dreams, participate in your hobbies, and tell him about it! ...
  3. INTEGRATE INTO HIS LIFE. ...
  4. SUGGEST FUN DATES. ...
  5. GIVE HIM SPACE. ...
  6. PULL AWAY IF HE STARTS PULLING AWAY.
4 Dec 2018

Can Friendzone turn into love? ›

Remember that you will likely have to work a little harder to challenge the boundaries of the friend zone than you would if you were never in the friend zone to begin with. Though moving a friendship to a relationship is definitely possible, it's often easier to skip the friendship phase altogether.

How do most relationships start? ›

The majority of romantic relationships begin as long-term friendships, according to a new analysis from the University of Victoria. Contrary to the popular perception that love typically sparks from passion, a new study finds two-thirds of romantic relationships begin as long-term friendships.

Do guys fall for their female friends? ›

The results revealed that men are more attracted to their female friends than their female friends are to them. Such overestimating of women's interest is not unusual for men, Bleske-Rechek said.

Do besties kiss each other? ›

No, they don't. Unless you are like dating (gay or different sexes) as well as best friends, but apart from that, no. Some best friends kiss on the cheeks, but definitely not on the lips.

Are we in love or just friends? ›

In general, the more emotional you feel about a certain person, the more likely you are experiencing love. For example, you might feel chemistry with your friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have an easy time talking to each other. When you love someone these feelings are more intense.

Is it wise to marry your best friend? ›

The study found that the "well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend." According to the study, women benefit more from being married to their best friend than men do. But, women are also less likely to regard their spouse as their best friend.

How do I know if we're more than friends? ›

You Have Butterflies

If you get that feeling when you're around them, it's a dead giveaway. Feeling different physically is a key indicator of more-than-friend-feelings. "Your heart beats faster when you see them, know you are going to see them, or hear from them," Durvasula says.

How do you know if your best friend loves you more than a friend? ›

To tell if your best friend loves you, see if they treat you differently than their other friends, like talking to you more or being more affectionate toward you, which could be a sign that they love you. Also, pay attention to how much time you and your best friend are spending alone together.

Can you be friends first and then fall in love? ›

In a July meta-analysis of seven studies published in Social, Psychological, and Personality Science, researchers examined results from 1,900 college students and older adults and found that 66 percent of people are platonic friends with their significant other prior to falling in love and starting a romantic ...

What do you call a guy who isn't your boyfriend? ›

You might also refer to him as something more detached, like my "plus-one," "prospect" or literally, like, "This is my date." Some prefer the tongue-in-cheek "not-boyfriend." You can be coy ("fancy friend") or a bit crass ("makeout buddy") or cheesy ("this is my luvvah") or even snobbish/fake-French.

Why does he act like my boyfriend but won't commit? ›

It could be a red flag for many reasons when a guy acts like a boyfriend but doesn't want the title. He could be keeping his options open to date, other people. He could be using you for financial or sexual reasons. He could like the security of a relationship but doesn't want to commit fully.

Why do guys do Situationships? ›

The LA-based writer, actor and personal trainer said situationships arise because men “want to cheat and not feel bad about it.” In other words, relationships with no labels allow men to do whatever they want with whomever they want with no loyalty.

What are dating red flags? ›

According to relationship experts, there are eight red flags you should look out for when dating someone new:
  • Love bombing.
  • Moving too quickly.
  • Not introducing you to their friends or family.
  • Gaslighting.
  • Inconsistent behavior.
  • Ignoring your boundaries.
  • You don't like their friends.
  • Bad-mouthing exes.
9 May 2022

How many dates before you ask her to be your girlfriend? ›

By date two or three, you should have a pretty good idea if you like this person enough and if they are a good match on paper. You will probably trust your instincts and just sense whether you should call it a day or keep on going. If you make it to date four with someone, it's safe to say that you are dating them.

How do most relationships end? ›

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.

What is love between friends called? ›

Philia – friend bond

Philia (Greek: φιλία) is the love between friends as close as siblings in strength and duration. The friendship is the strong bond existing between people who share common values, interests or activities.

Is it normal to cuddle your bestfriend? ›

Best friends like to cuddle. We just do. When we've had a hard week at work, just ended a relationship, or are hungover, we like to share a blanket on the couch or cuddle in bed and watch movies together. You don't necessarily have to make physical contact, but just being in close proximity feels good.

Is the friend zone permanent? ›

While the friend zone seems like a pretty permanent destination, this isn't necessarily the case. After finishing university, Joe moved in with two girls he met on Spareroom. He didn't realise that romance would flourish.

Why do girls Friendzone you? ›

Reason #3: She's Emotionally Unavailable

Maybe she just got out of a relationship or has been through some painful situations that make her reticent when it comes to starting a relationship. If a woman is emotionally unavailable, she is going to friendzone you and most guys that come her way.

How do you know you're not Friendzoned? ›

Signs You Are Not In The Friend Zone

If a friend starts to genuinely compliment you more often. If a friend starts touching you more often, innocently placing a hand on your arm, for example. If a friend is more willing to go out of their way to spend time with you and do what you are interested in.

How can I make her miss me badly? ›

7 Powerful Ways TO Make HER Miss YOU - YouTube

How do I make my girlfriend scared of losing me? ›

10 ways to make her worry about losing you - YouTube

How do I ignore her to get her attention? ›

that said, here are 10 ways you can ignore a woman and make her want you:
  1. 1) Take the Leap and Initiate the First Few Steps. ...
  2. 2) Don't Reschedule to Accommodate Her. ...
  3. 3) Ignore Her When She Talks About Other Guys. ...
  4. 4) Ignore Her if She Doesn't Seem Invested in the Relationship. ...
  5. 7) Ignore Her if She's Being Too Clingy.
11 Jun 2022

Why is dating better than friends? ›

Friendship allows people to get to know someone for who they truly are. Building a friendship gives people time to get to know someone in a range of different situations. Trust, companionship, and easy communication gained through friendship are pillars of intimate, long-term relationships.

Is it important to be friends before lovers? ›

Friendship is the first thing you need and very important when it comes to developing a relationship. Being friends gives you the opportunity to get to know the person for who they are and gives you the opportunity to learn things about them that you would not have learned otherwise.

Can platonic friends become lovers? ›

Platonic relationships can turn into erotic or romantic relationships, but most often the strength lies in the strong friendship.

What is the next step after kissing in a relationship? ›

What comes after kissing in a relationship is step 8, moving onto step 8 is quite easy from step 7 and usually happens during a kiss. That next stage we should expect is 'hand to head. ' If you don't place your hand on your partners head usually, now is the time to try it.

What date should you kiss? ›

The golden rule is to ask for a kiss when she's as relaxed as possible. That classic opportunity — the end of a date, whether is the first date or a later one — is ideal. You've gotten to know each other, you've walked her home, and suddenly, there's a long silence. She probably won't be surprised if you ask right now.

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? ›

Appreciation, infatuation, attraction, impression, and conviction are the 5 bonding stages for a man.

How long is the talking stage before dating? ›

The Talking Stage Can Last from a Few Days to a Few Months

All people are different. While many of us need just a few days to understand that we have found the right person, others need more than three months to draw such a conclusion.

What are some red flags in the talking stage? ›

If they're making tons of inappropriate comments, oversharing, or generally pushing emotional intimacy, these are all red flags. Someone who truly wants to get to know you and wants something serious understands familiarity is something you absolutely cannot rush.

How long is too long in the talking stage? ›

For Metselaar, a talking stage should last no longer than three months. “I think three months is like the absolute longest for a talking stage,” she told us. “And if it's over three months, then you might want to look into what's going on here.”

Can you turn a friendship into a relationship? ›

"Direct communication is the key to any relationship," according to Dr. Sterling, "but transitioning from a best friendship to a romantic relationship is a minefield." The best way to navigate this uncharted territory is to be direct from the start. That means clarifying what type of relationship you're going to have.

Can best friends marry? ›

You can be married to your best friend with utmost ease and comfort. You would not only know them but also know their family well. You won't have to worry about making a transition from being single to married. Apart from the legal aspect, everything is likely to be much the same as before marriage.

How do you make your bestie fall for you? ›

To make a friend fall in love with you, try flirting with them by making lots of eye contact, smiling, and complimenting them on their appearance and personality. You can also touch them by tickling, hugging, or brushing against them, which will make them feel closer to you.

How do you tell if a friendship is turning into a relationship? ›

Your friend is being more vulnerable than usual around you. The closeness that you two have has become deeper. If you both share deep secrets or things you're scared or hesitant to verbalize to others, the line between friendship and love is getting blurry.

How long does it take for a friendship to turn into a relationship? ›

On average, the “friends first” initiators were friends for nearly 22 months before the relationship turned romantic and almost half of the total sample thought that friends-first initiation was the best way to start a new romantic relationship, versus the other options presented such as meeting at a party or online, ...

Is it better to marry your best friend or lover? ›

The study found that the "well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend." According to the study, women benefit more from being married to their best friend than men do. But, women are also less likely to regard their spouse as their best friend.

Which is more powerful love or friendship? ›

Friendship is more powerful among the two. Actually both love and friendship are two different relations shraed between people but does stands for an equal mean in one's life, without both a person is incomplete.

Are best friends more important than girlfriends? ›

Girlfriends may be biased with their advices (whether out of love or concern) but best friends never are. They're always genuine and real with their words, which is why you'll find the most stupid friends give you the most sensible advice when the time comes.

Can besties fall in love? ›

While it is not necessary that all friendship leads to a romantic relationship, but it is most likely that one ends up falling for their best-friend. And why not? You spend so much time with each other, make so many great memories together and are open about every little aspect of your life.

How do you kiss a girl? ›

Press your lips into her lips without pushing her or shoving your nose into her face. Apply light pressure and embrace her by pulling her closer. Kiss her for 1-4 seconds before moving back with your lips still on hers to give her a moment to catch her breath or adjust her position. Keep your lips soft as you kiss.

What age do most guys get their first girlfriend? ›

That's in part because statistically speaking, most people have their first experience with a boyfriend or girlfriend as teenagers, with one 2004 study estimating that around 84% of people enter their first serious relationship at an average of 18 years old.

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