Daughter reveals how she fell madly in love with her dad (2022)

THE bride posed proudly on her big day with the groom on one side and long-lost dad on the other.

But seven years later wife Jane left her husband...for her FATHER.

Now the 36-year-old is riddled with shame over their incestuous affair.

But she confesses she couldn’t stop ­herself falling madly in love with her dad, now 56, and having sex with him for two-and-a-half years.

Britain will be shocked by Jane’s story but she has decided to speak out in a bid to help others who might find themselves in a similar disturbing situation – and warn them not to get involved.

Jane – not her real name – has to remain anonymous for fear of the impact on her family and because incest is illegal.

Wiping away tears, she said: “Before this happened, if someone had said to me they were in this type of relationship, I would have said they were sickos.

“But my emotions were explosive and I couldn’t control them. I knew what we were doing was wrong but my feelings for him were so strong I couldn’t stop myself.

“Our relationship was incredibly intense and the fact it had to be kept a secret made it more exciting. But it destroyed me and I will always be ashamed.

“I hope others in my situation will realise it’s not a one-off. But I hope it also gives them courage to walk away from their ­feelings and not act upon them like I did.”

Jane met her biological father for the first time when she was around 16.

She had been a baby when he walked out on her and her mum.

Cherished

Jane spent an unhappy childhood with her mother and a stepdad.

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When she was 11, her teenage cousin gave her a photo of her real dad.

Jane recalled: “My mum never talked about him. I knew she wouldn’t approve of the photo so I hid it under my bed. I would take it out, gaze at him and will him to come and rescue me. I cherished it. But Mum found it and I never saw it again.”

By the time she was 13, the relationship with her mum and stepdad had broken down and Jane was put into care.

Three years later, she left the children’s home and was living in a bedsit when her cousin found out where her real dad Robert – whose name we have also changed – was working as a security guard.

She said: “I walked into the reception of the building and asked to see my dad.

“He was charming and produced a photo of me when I was six. My mum had sent it to his mother. He said he never forgot me.”

Jane, still estranged from her mum, ­became close to Robert and his wife, who remarked how similar they looked.

She said: “My father would often tell me he loved me – he made me feel wanted for the first time in my life.”

Jane fell pregnant by a boyfriend a year later and they married and moved from south Wales to the south of England.

But in 1999 Jane, then 23, divorced her husband and returned to Wales.

She got an office job, started dating ­engineer Steve – not his real name – and fell pregnant.

She also got back in touch with her dad. Jane recalled: “We were getting on well.”

Although Jane says her dad was ­“attractive” she insists she didn’t fancy him sexually – but psychologists now recognise a phenomenon called Genetic Sexual Attraction between relatives separated at birth who meet later in life.

Jane married a second time in 2001 and this time her dad gave her away. She had two more kids and became a ­driving instructor. In March 2007, her father ­accompanied her to a seminar at a hotel in the north of England and on the second night they had a lot to drink.

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She said: “I noticed my dad seemed jealous of me talking to other men and he stormed off to his room.

“I’ve never been able to let anything lie so I went to confront him. I walked into his room and he said, ‘I’m in love with you’. He just came out with it.

“It was such a shock I almost fell to the floor. I had never, ever thought he felt that way. I left the room and next day we drove home in silence.

“A few days afterwards I went to see my dad and said I wanted to forget what had happened. I didn’t feel disgusted with him, I just felt sorry for him.

“From then on he used to cry on my shoulder. His talk was sometimes sexual – he would cry as he told me what he would do when he was thinking of me, but I told him I didn’t want to hear.”

Passionate

By December 2007, Jane began to develop feelings for her dad. She said: “He was very charismatic and ­charming, which made him more attractive.

“I began to fall for him emotionally at first but then I began to fancy him.

“It was very confusing and I tried to suppress my feelings but in the end I had to tell him how I felt. I asked to meet him in my car between lessons. I was shaking. I knew it was wrong. I told him I was in love with him but didn’t want to be. He was delighted.”

Jane and Robert met again a week later in a church car park, where they joked about the sin they were ­committing and shared their first kiss.

She said: “Despite knowing that ­loving my father in this way was ­completely wrong, it felt right. Although part of me knew it was against all the rules, the kiss was very passionate.”

Within weeks, Jane had sex with Robert for the first time when he ­invited her home when his wife was out.

She said: “We went in the spare room. I didn’t want to go to his ­bedroom because it was weird enough. After I had sex with my father I knew I was totally in love because it had never been like that before. It was amazing. I had found my soulmate at last.”

Within weeks Robert left his wife without telling her he was sleeping with his daughter.

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Jane then realised her marriage was over and asked Steve, who was working in England, not to return home.

She said: “I was besotted. We knew it was wrong but we thought we could keep it a secret.”

In June 2008 Jane asked her father to move in and they started sleeping together a few times a week. Jane said: “My dad made me feel important. He told me how clever and funny and pretty I was. We spent the night in a hotel a few times.

“My dad worshipped me and it was the best relationship I had ever had.

“I would get butterflies before I saw him because I was so excited. We were just like any other couple, apart from the fact he was my father.”

Jane insisted they always used ­protection when they slept together.

She said: “I was never going to have a child with my dad because something could be wrong with that child.

“It would also be proof of what we did and how could I tell that child?”

But the incestuous relationship grew sour. Jane said: “My father began ­hitting me in front of my four kids.

“He gave up his job and was sponging off me. He was drinking heavily.

“I couldn’t take any more, so when he was at a pal’s house I took all his clothes there and threw them on the lawn.”

But after kicking him out in June 2009, Jane took revenge when he moved back in with his wife.

She said: “It was like a stake through my heart. I called her and told her we had been having an affair. But he ­denied it and she believed him.”

Disgusting

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With rumours now circulating in the town where they lived, Robert lied to his wife, their daughter and his friends their fling had been a drunk one-off.

She said: “My dad told everyone I had seduced him. Friends I had known for ages told me I was disgusting.”

Jane was forced to flee the town and her life quickly unravelled.

She said: “I just couldn’t live without my father. I was put on anti-depressants and I lost my business.”

Jane’s father began to visit her again and they continued to sleep together until the middle of 2010.

She said: “It finished after my dad punched me in the face.”

When she saw a counsellor last year she became convinced her dad had seduced her and went to police.

The couple were both arrested and questioned in July 2011 but Jane ­refused to incriminate herself on legal advice and the case was dropped.

Jane decided to tell her two eldest children, 18 and 15, about her ­illicit affair but not the two youngest.

She said: “They reacted so well. They hated granddad but still loved me.”

She has not seen her dad since the affair ended.

Jane said: “I don’t hate him, I’m ­indifferent towards him. I never want to see him again.” Robert told The People: “I don’t want to talk about this.”

A South Wales Police spokesman said: “Two people were arrested on suspicion of incest last July. They were not charged.”

vikki.white@people.co.uk

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FAQs

Do daughters fall in love with their dads? ›

Daughters naturally crave connection with their fathers, and they especially cherish emotional and physical affection from their fathers. In fact, according to Meg Meeker's research, when girls and dads have a stronger connection, daughters do better in life on a number of different levels.

What is it called when a daughter falls in love with her father? ›

The Electra complex is a term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex. It involves a girl, aged between 3 and 6, becoming subconsciously sexually attached to her father and increasingly hostile toward her mother. Carl Jung developed the theory in 1913.

Why are daughters attracted to their fathers? ›

It's common for daughters to be attracted to their fathers, in the sense that they find love and protection, and, if the father is a good father, they learn what a good man is like, and tend to be attracted to that king of man when they are older. More common than people want to admit.

Is a daughters first love her dad? ›

"A father is a son's first hero and a daughter's first love." "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." "Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man."

Why is a father daughter relationship so strong? ›

Fathers are role models. They lay a foundation of security, trust, and love. Daughters tend to judge all the other men who come into their lives later based on the example their fathers set for them. A girl develops confidence and self-esteem if she has a good bond with her father.

Are girls attracted to people like their dad? ›

Andrews found that men often favor women who resemble their mother when choosing mates. Similarly, the study showed that women prefer male faces that resemble their fathers. These findings were later reported in a 2002 New Scientist magazine article titled “Like Father Like Husband."

Why daughters love their fathers more quotes? ›

Father Daughter Love Quotes
  • “A daughter may outgrow your lap but she'll never outgrow your heart.” – ...
  • “Dad: a daughter's first love.” – ...
  • “When I'm at my best, I am my father's daughter.” – ...
  • “No other love in the world is like the love of a father has for his little girl.” – ...
  • “When my daughter says 'Daddy I need you!'
14 Dec 2021

What is it called when you fall in love with your parent? ›

Signs of the Oedipus Complex

Freud believed that all children go through this process as a normal part of development. Some signs that a child is experiencing the Oedipus complex include: Becoming overly attached to one parent. Fixation on one parent.

Is it normal to be attracted to your dad? ›

Genetic Sexual Attraction, or GSA as it's more commonly known, most frequently occurs when a person has been separated from a biological family member - be it mother, father, brother or sister - from a young age, and upon meeting them again, becomes sexually attracted to them.

Which parent are daughters closer to? ›

If sons are close to their mother, daughters are the closest to their father. No man can ever beat the love of a father for his daughter.

Which parent does a child love more? ›

Research indicates that moms still spend twice as much time caring for kids as do dads. The amount of time that dads spend with their children is the main reason why children love more than Dad, but including this, there are also some other reasons for Excessive Attachment of a Mother.

Can a child fall in love with their parent? ›

Your child's love is like a teenager's first crush. At around the age of 4, it is common for a child to fall in love with the parent of the opposite sex. This has to do with his strong love for his parents and is the beginning of his forming a positive relationship to the opposite gender.

How fathers affect their daughters? ›

But recent research has shown that a father's influence in his daughter's life shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. A girl's relationship with her dad can determine her ability to trust, her need for approval and her self-belief. It can even affect her love life.

Do fathers have a favorite daughter? ›

Even if you don't fully recognize it, research indicates that there's a good chance that you actually do have a favorite. In fact, one study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found 74% of moms and 70% of dads reported preferential treatment toward one child.

What daughters need from their fathers? ›

7 Things a Daughter Needs from Her Father
  • She needs you to be involved. ...
  • She needs you to demonstrate a healthy marriage. ...
  • She needs you to support her. ...
  • She needs to trust you as a confidant. ...
  • She needs your unconditional love. ...
  • She needs a strong spiritual leader. ...
  • She needs a positive role model.

Why are dads more attractive? ›

Reason Dads Are Hot #6: Dads Are Nurturing and Confident.

If a young dad is taking care of a baby or interacting with a young child on his own, it reflects their ability to be nurturing, which is not commonly associated with masculinity.

What traits do girls get from their dad? ›

List of Traits which are Inherited from Father
  • Eye Colour. Dominant and recessive genes play a role in determining eye colour of the child. ...
  • Height. If the father is tall, there is more chance for the child to also be tall. ...
  • Dimples. ...
  • Fingerprints. ...
  • Lips. ...
  • Sneezing. ...
  • Teeth structure. ...
  • Mental disorders.
7 Dec 2018

Do girls marry men like their dad? ›

In contrast, the team of psychologists revealed that women who have negative or less positive relationships were not attracted to men who looked like their male parents. Women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners who resemble their dads research suggests.

What is a father's love quote? ›

“The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” "A girl's first true love is her father." "The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking." "No man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much."

How do you describe your father's love? ›

His love is sacrificial, patient, kind, humble, honest, forgiving, faithful, and selfless. It is constant and unchanging.

What does a father's love feel like? ›

1. Tenderness. A father's love actually should be tender—and a child has the ability to tap into the tenderness of a man's heart like nothing else. The man who will unapologetically take a stand for his family is also the same man who needs to be found on his knees regularly and tenderly playing with his children.

Why am I attracted to like my dad? ›

Women who were raised by kind, loving, and supportive fathers are more likely to be attracted to men who are similar to their fathers. A 2007 study says, “Women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners who resemble their dads, research suggests.

Can your father be your soulmate? ›

Soulmates can be anyone close to us – a parent, a sibling, a child, a teacher, a workmate, a friend. They aren't necessarily a twin flame… twin flames are a completely different being, and you can learn about them here. They aren't always perfect with you.

What does love from a parent feel like? ›

Parental love is characterized by warmth, affection, care, comfort, concern, nurture, support, acceptance or simply love that a child can feel from their parents1. The parents' love can be felt when they kiss, hug, praise, compliment, or say nice things to or about their children.

› 5-reasons-dads-are-so-important-t... ›

First, the way dads behave towards their daughter is key. Respectful and supportive fathers who keep their promises teach their daughters to expect that in thei...
1 He Is The First Man known to her A father is the first male a girl encounters in her life. Her ideas about the opposite gender are molded into being.
But, there is a difference in the intensity of bonds a girl kid and a boy kid forms with their dads. A girl, from the very beginning, just favours her dad over ...

What effect does a father have on a daughter? ›

Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. If a father is loving and gentle, his daughter will look for those qualities in men when she's old enough to begin dating.

How fathers affect their daughters? ›

But recent research has shown that a father's influence in his daughter's life shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. A girl's relationship with her dad can determine her ability to trust, her need for approval and her self-belief. It can even affect her love life.

Are fathers closer to daughters than sons? ›

WASHINGTON — Fathers with toddler daughters are more attentive and responsive to those daughters' needs than fathers with toddler sons are to the needs of those sons, according to brain scans and recordings of the parents' daily interactions with their kids.

Can a child fall in love with their parent? ›

Your child's love is like a teenager's first crush. At around the age of 4, it is common for a child to fall in love with the parent of the opposite sex. This has to do with his strong love for his parents and is the beginning of his forming a positive relationship to the opposite gender.

Why daughters love their fathers more quotes? ›

Father Daughter Love Quotes
  • “A daughter may outgrow your lap but she'll never outgrow your heart.” – ...
  • “Dad: a daughter's first love.” – ...
  • “When I'm at my best, I am my father's daughter.” – ...
  • “No other love in the world is like the love of a father has for his little girl.” – ...
  • “When my daughter says 'Daddy I need you!'
14 Dec 2021

What daughters need from their fathers? ›

7 Things a Daughter Needs from Her Father
  • She needs you to be involved. ...
  • She needs you to demonstrate a healthy marriage. ...
  • She needs you to support her. ...
  • She needs to trust you as a confidant. ...
  • She needs your unconditional love. ...
  • She needs a strong spiritual leader. ...
  • She needs a positive role model.

What father means to a daughter? ›

Being a father means being a role model and setting the standard for how their daughters will view other men. A father who shows love to the women in his life and is nurturing and compassionate can help his daughter avoid unhealthy relationships and friendships with men as she ages.

What traits does a girl inherit from her father? ›

List of Traits which are Inherited from Father
  • Eye Colour. Dominant and recessive genes play a role in determining eye colour of the child. ...
  • Height. If the father is tall, there is more chance for the child to also be tall. ...
  • Dimples. ...
  • Fingerprints. ...
  • Lips. ...
  • Sneezing. ...
  • Teeth structure. ...
  • Mental disorders.

Why do girls need dads? ›

A daughter needs a dad to guide her.

Although there are many things a girl can learn from her mother (or other women), she needs her dad to guide her in other important areas of her life: love and relationships, finances, general advice, etc.

What does a healthy father-daughter relationship look like? ›

A healthy father-daughter relationship is built on love, trust, respect, and communication like all other relationships. Having boundaries, trust, and support create a positive relationship between fathers and daughters.

Do fathers have a favorite daughter? ›

Even if you don't fully recognize it, research indicates that there's a good chance that you actually do have a favorite. In fact, one study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found 74% of moms and 70% of dads reported preferential treatment toward one child.

Do guys prefer to have a son or daughter? ›

In fact, men have told the National Bureau of Economic pollsters that they would rather have a boy by more than a two-to-one margin whereas women have only a slight preference for daughters.

Who passes more DNA mother or father? ›

Genetically, you actually carry more of your mother's genes than your father's. That's because of little organelles that live within your cells, the mitochondria, which you only receive from your mother.

Why is parental love so strong? ›

Parental love is at least partly biological. Oxytocin is the hormone that is involved in forming bonds of love (romantic, familial or otherwise). Parents get large dosages of oxytocin when interacting with their children.

What is the strongest parent/child relationship? ›

Unconditional Love

Children need to know that that love will not falter through their ups and downs, and that their parents will always be there to support them emotionally no matter what. They need to feel that failures do not dictate whether they are worthy of the love they receive from their parents.

Why do kids fall in love with adults? ›

Crushes often sprout from a child's attraction to authority, she said. Kids, like grown-ups, look up to people in authority, and a crush may develop "especially when that person possesses other attributes that the child thinks are important."

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